Saturday, 27 October 2012


‘Mummy, what time is the Baby Wash?’
It was, of course, a baby shower, and a four year old sister was excited. It was a wonderful occasion for we had two very expectant Ladies in waiting. The room was decorated in pink and blue, and our organisers full of creative ideas to bless our perhaps anxious Mums.

We were each given two cards to write some wise words, or otherwise, for the Mums, our contributions then made into a little book for them to take home. Being a writer, I wished I had had longer to think of something worthy the occasion. It couldn’t be too long as the birth of both babies was imminent, and I’m not sure this is worthy, but ‘such as I have’ I have since sent to them, and now share with you. 

Baby Shower
Welcome, Little Stranger,
  Precious gift from heaven
Still safe within your Mother’s womb
  You’re ready for new life

Break forth now from this prison,
  Though yet by love enfolded
Always within your Mother’s heart,
  From darkness into life

Come, face this world of brightness
  Of colour, sounds and faces
We’re here to love you, welcome you
  To share with us your life.

Created in God’s image
  Precious little treasure
Grow to know and love the One
  Who’s come to give you life.

Was I the only one at that special party who has not given birth? Well, some of our beautiful teen agers were there, that joy still to come. Perhaps there is a little sadness that I have never known this wonderful blessing, yet I have been and still am a mother.

Both in Papua New Guinea and again in Ghana they called me the ‘Little children’s mother’ and somehow the women understood that it was for the sake of their children that I did not have my own family. God knew that if I  had had my own children that I would never have done the work I did, and so I had to wait until I was fifty before I had the privilege of sharing my life with Joel.

Joel and his first wife Betty had agreed not to have children because of their missionary call, so now I would say, ‘If we had grand-children we would never do our writing,’ for we were both authors. But I still have children, for it was when I was in the mountains of Papua New Guinea God gave me the verse, ‘the children God has given me,’ and even here in Wales God still speaks this into my heart and gives me strength and joy in going into the schools to teach his word.

No, I may not have known the joy, but nor have I known the pain that can accompany child birth, but I thank God so much that he has brought me into this wonderful family of ‘Grace’ and that we can share each other’s joys, yes, and sorrows.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

What's in your mouth

‘Nothing Miss’ the kids would lie, when I was on the hunt for chewing gum, a teacher’s pet hate. But today I am more concerned about what’s in my own mouth, and what comes out of it.

It is so easy to speak out negative things, grumbles and groans and pessimism.

‘Oh Pauline, you are so stupid.’ No one is around when I walk round telling myself off, – yet in my heart I know I am not stupid. Probably I wasn’t concentrating. And I wouldn’t dream of saying such a thing to you if you made some mistake.

It was when I was living in the Highlands of New Guinea that I learned the importance of having good things come out of my mouth.

I had fallen into a hole; a hole of ill health, depression and self-pity. I’m sure you would have pitied me too, but instead, God came into the situation with his cure.

He told me, through a ministry tape, that Jesus is the Apostle and High Priest of our confession. If we are speaking out negative things, then Jesus as our High Priest, has nothing to present to the Father, but if we will speak out God’s word then he can take this to the Father, and God cannot deny his own word.

‘Don’t say, ‘Why doesn’t God heal me?’ but claim his word and say, ‘You are the Lord who is healing me.’ The preacher continued, ‘Tell the Lord, I am delighting myself in you and you are giving me the desires of my heart.’

Now, I was suffering, physically and emotionally, from a broken heart. I had thought God had promised me a husband, and since one had not yet appeared I had come to the uttermost parts of the earth, trusting that he would. And then came John, riding over the mountains on a white charger – no, actually he flew up and now he was on the mission motor bike, but it all seemed like a fairy tale romance. Then the bubble burst. It was all over, my hopes of a husband and family gone, for I was nearing forty by now.

But now God was speaking to me. In obedience I went home, knelt by my bed and told the Lord, ‘I am delighting myself in you and you are giving me the desires of my heart.’

I didn’t get immediate healing, but somehow, little by little, a miracle happened. I found God was giving me such joy in my work among the women and children that when, some months later, my friends, all radiant, announced their engagement, I thought, They can’t be any happier than I am.

How thankful I am that God taught me to have his word in my mouth and speak it out. It was more than ten years before God brought Joel into my life. How glad I am I wasn’t moaning and feeling sorry for myself all those years, for he was surely worth waiting for.  

I guess we all fall into pits from time to time, so let’s not wait until we are out to praise the Lord, but right now let’s speak out our confidence in him and his word. He is still in the business of miracles. Say with me, ‘I am delighting myself in you, and you are giving me the desires of my heart.’